


I know it must seem frightening (to have the world fall apart right under your shoes)

by nozojihyos



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: A Pinch of Angst and a Cup of Plotholes: The Fanfic, Angst?, F/F, nobody asked for this but here it is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 07:53:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14397621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nozojihyos/pseuds/nozojihyos
Summary: It doesn't work like that.





	I know it must seem frightening (to have the world fall apart right under your shoes)

**Author's Note:**

> Uh... I honestly don't know what this fic is but it's been rotting in my drafts so... Here you go. Title is from 3OH!3's I'm Not the One btw

Pining sucks. One moment your world is filled with rainbows, flowers, warmth, upbeat music, and everything sweet and beautiful that you could ever imagine; once you realize that your love is unrequited, however, it comes crashing down and the world you've built crumbles bit by bit, tearing you apart in the process.

She wishes that they could go back to how things were before, but it doesn't work like that—a cliché romcom with half-baked conflicts thrown in for the sake of establishing a (poorly developed) plot line, only to have the pair of lovers end up happy and very much in love with one another.

It doesn't work like that.

Warm hugs, lingering touches, cheek kisses, or even the cheesy pet names—all were gone the moment she decided to chase after the fleeting butterfly and step out of the confines of her own world.

It turns out that chasing the butterfly would lead her to a distant forest devoid of the precious things she once have had in her own comforts.

The butterfly had flew up, up, and away, leaving her to face defeat in the forest as she watches her comfort zone crash and burn to the ground.

She can never return to her world, nor can they return to the way they were once before.

 

- 

 

Nayeon isn't dumb; she sees it in the way Sana would seem too hesitant to initiate any form of physical affection, much less tell her that she loves her (as a friend, of course, and it inflicts a searing pain that shatters her whole being).

Everything else after the confession was the same between them, save for Sana's hesitance and the distance that she creates between her and Nayeon's tortured soul. Sana didn't feel the same way, and both of them agreed to never speak of the confession ever again. Granted that Nayeon did accept the offer of friendship despite her feelings for Sana, it still didn't feel the same.

It was as if her world rebuilt itself on the land on which the forest had stood, only to become a failure of a replica; it's not the same world, and it will never be.

It hurts.

It tastes as bitter as one of those obscure herbal syrups her mother used to make her drink when she was a child, and she remembers hating every single one of them.

Yet this feeling was much more bitter and sinister and painful—everything that she had ever despised.

Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night, sobbing and wishing for the pain to stop, yet she knows that she herself is at fault for running after the butterfly barefoot and trying to look for her world that has once existed.

It's never coming back, nor will the butterfly ever stop to land on her palms, yet Nayeon runs and runs and runs.

 

- 

 

Denial sucks. Lies are created to protect one's heart and mind from the monster they call pain; something no one would rather face. The catch is that everyone else is guilty of denial once in a while—it's a coping mechanism, after all. How the monster looks and how it torments its victims vary from one person to another, but one thing is for sure: it isn't easy to face the truth, nor is it any easier to stop shielding one's fragile heart away from this monster.

Nayeon herself isn't spared from the clutches of denial. Although half a year has passed since the rejection, she is still chasing after the butterfly, but she now has another reason to run; to escape from the monster lurking in her vast land, yet she would _deny_ this cold, hard truth.

She may not admit it to herself, but she has become one of the people she had once scoffed at for having those _dumb feelings._ It was as if the replica was mocking her for still chasing the butterfly in its endless expanse, choosing to turn her back from the world's monster and running towards the direction of the butterfly instead.

The monster will never leave her alone—not unless she turns back and faces it head on (which is the exact opposite of what she has been doing).

A familiar ringtone momentarily interrupts Nayeon's typing. Opting to finish the sentence she was typing, she ignores the call for a while instead. Without looking at the caller ID, she knew the owner of the voice she would hear at the other end of the line. Her thoughts were confirmed when she looked down at the phone on her desk, pressing the answer button and putting the other person on speaker.

_"Nayeon."_

"What is it this time, Jeongyeon?"

_"Are you free tomorrow at 5? I was thinking we could go grab a bite."_

She hears a sigh at the other end.

_"Please? Just like the old times?"_

Nayeon doesn't answer, tearing her gaze away from her phone and resuming her work instead.

_"Nayeon, I know you can hear me."_

Just like the previous instance, Nayeon ignores Jeongyeon once again, preferring to drown her voice out and concentrate on the task she was so intent on completing. She didn't know how long she was working—10 minutes, 30 minutes, hell, maybe even an hour—but she knew that the person she was talking to should have hung up by now.

Unfortunately fate wasn't on her side.

Jeongyeon's voice was soft, yet her words reverberate in Nayeon's head.

_"Sana misses you, you know?"_

Silence follows, and Nayeon would have been thankful if it weren't for the words echoing in her head.

_Sana misses you, you know?_

_Sana misses you._

_Sana. Sana. Sana._

Her head spins and she feels nauseous, yet she is frozen in place. It's awfully cold all of a sudden and she wants to do nothing but flee.

_"I know you always refuse to tell me what's going on, and I won't pry anymore. Just..."_

A sniffle is heard, and she is brought back into reality.

_"Just know that I'm here for you, alright? If you ever decide to tell me, I'll be right here."_

Nayeon wants to say that nothing is wrong and she is completely fine, but she knows deep down that she would be _lying_ to herself—as she has been for the past months. What's worse is that she would be lying to her best friend of all people, and Nayeon doesn't want that.

She never speaks.

_"Goodnight, Nayeon."_

As the call comes to an end, Nayeon closes her laptop and drags herself to bed. Her eyes close and she swears she could hear the monster's footsteps come closer and closer.

It seems like the monster has caught up to her again, but the girl in denial relents. She runs as fast as she can with her sore legs and wounded feet, refusing to turn back at all costs. The darkness had swallowed the path behind her, but she persists.

Tears flow from her eyes, and her sobs turn into wails. The bright, yellow path in front of her morphs into a rough dirt road, and she falls. The butterfly was even farther than it was previously, disappearing into the distance once again. Nayeon could only watch it fly with her weakened body on the ground. Too weak to resist, the darkness consumes her being just as it had enveloped the path that she had travelled. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees a claw ready to strike.

One could only avoid the monster for so long.

**Author's Note:**

> wow that was vague and messy,
> 
> anyway yeah u could hmu on Twitter (@BBQJihyo) if u wanna be friends i don't bite i promise
> 
> ok bye i'm out


End file.
